There is simply no substitute for the joy of having your wife tell you, “I’m pregnant!”

May of 2014 my wife told me that we were going to be having our second kid. I was so elated and honored to bring another child into our family. Our projected birthday was January 8th – my same birth month. But our time with this baby would be cut short. Our first doctor’s visit revealed that our little one would not make it.

That was a very difficult time for my wife and I. We had to be strong for our son, but yet find time to mourn the loss of our baby. One thing we did was prayed that God would tell us whether this had been a girl or a boy.

We wanted a name.

We needed a name.

Both of us felt God’s gentle voice tell us it is a girl. Which made us both very happy to know that we had a girl. That she was now with Jesus. She isn’t in pain, she’s not suffering. She’s dancing in the streets alongside our King. How awesome is that.

 

We named her Norah Kate.

 

She is my Pure Light. She was never tainted by this world, never knew sin, never knew disappointment. She only knows the warmth of love and the beauty of Heaven.

But that doesn’t replace the void that I feel at times. Especially at first, but even still now. At times I feel overwhelmed by sadness, one that can’t fully be explained. There is a deep longing within my heart and soul to see her, to touch her,

to hold her.

I want so desperately to hold her against my chest, to cuddle her in my arms. Just to watch her breathe, to hear her voice, to see what color her eyes are, her hair. Would she be laid-back or feisty? Would she be a dreamer or a do-er?

But I can’t hold her. I won’t be able to until I reach Heaven. I won’t know anything about her until then. I can’t wait for that day, the day I get to look down a golden street and see my Norah Kate standing there with arms open.

For now I take comfort in knowing she is whole and healthy, she isn’t in pain.

And I take comfort in knowing my King has her wrapped in his arms (which, in the end, are far better arms than mine).

 

* Norah: Honor, Light; Kate: Pure, Blessed